15 Myths About Motherhood That Are Just Plain Stupid

I haven’t even been a mom that long and I’m already super aware of the insane pressures thrown onto moms these days. It’s so annoying and really… it’s just beyond stupid. Motherhood is already hard without all these antiquated expectations. If you ask me, It’s just straight up toxic. Everywhere we turn, there’s either nonsensical advice being thrown at us, or even worse, some “universal truth” about what being a mom is supposed to look like. Well… I’ve never been one to want to look like everyone else anyway, so let me be the first to help you on the journey of busting these myths about motherhood so you can be the mom you really want to be.

At the end of the day, you’re human. You’re a beautiful human… who created a human that now is looking up at you to keep it alive. This is our sacred role. So now it’s your turn to relieve yourself of the weight of societal judgement. We’re burning the book of motherhood myths that are doing more harm than good, and moving forward doing this whole mom thing our way.

1. You Have to Love Every Moment

The Myth: Every second of Motherhood is magical.

Let’s be real here. You probably aren’t going to love the tantrums or the explosive diapers and you can probably guess that 3am wake-ups truly do suck. But ultimately, it’s totally okay to get frustrated or grossed out, and feeling sad or being bored can happen. Being a mom is such a huge responsibility and while it’s an incredibly honorable task that’s been handed to us, it’s also crazy and exhausting. Don’t ever feel bad about not loving every moment of motherhood because at the end of the day you’re human with a broad spectrum of emotions and experiences and you can still madly love your kid while also hating the feeling of spit-up down your cleavage.

2. A Good Mom Sacrifices Everything

The Myth: Your needs should always come last.

Among the myths about motherhood, the whole martyr-mom thing leans into such an outdated idea of what motherhood should be that I had to put it on this list. If you’re not taking care of yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally, I don’t know how you’re supposed to then pour all of what’s left of yourself into your children and expect to maintain any semblance of sanity. Getting by day to day as a shell of yourself is unsustainable and will ultimately lead to burnout. So, taking care of yourself becomes a must and one of the best things you can do for you and your family. I don’t care what anyone tells you, but being a good mom doesn’t mean erasing your own needs. It means showing up whole. Your kids benefit more from a mom who’s fulfilled and emotionally healthy than one who’s constantly depleted.

3. There’s a “Right” Way to Give Birth

The Myth: If you didn’t have a natural, unmedicated, Instagram-worthy birth, you did it wrong.

If there’s one thing I know, it’s that every single delivery is different. It’s not one-size-fits-all so this idea that there are right and wrong ways to give birth is not only weird but absolutely ridiculous. You just spent nine whole months growing a human inside your body and then you brought them into the world. So as far as I’m concerned, you’re a freaking warrior and you need to be recognized as such. Whether natural, c-section, unmedicated, epidural, induction, home birth, water birth, whatever… it’s all birth! And it’s hard and it’s rewarding and it’s beautiful and sometimes traumatic, but you did it. You thugged it out, and no matter how you did it, you’re amazing for it.

4. Breast is Best, No Exceptions

The Myth: Formula is failure.

Let’s start off by saying… fed is best. Period. We all know there are so many benefits to breastfeeding your baby and in addition to those benefits it can be a really beautiful process to be able to nourish your little one. But with that said, there’s no way I can support the absolute myth that the only proper way to feed your baby is through breastfeeding. There can be so much unnecessary shame surrounding formula feeding, when in actuality formula also has benefits. What it boils down to is that the best feeding method is the one that works for both you and your baby and, let’s be honest, everyone’s sanity!

5. Babies Should Sleep Through the Night Early On

The Myth: If your baby isn’t sleeping 8 hours by 3 months, you’re doing something wrong.

Listen, I’d really like to hope that by now we understand that babies are so completely individual of each other. There is absolutely no shame to you or your baby if they aren’t sleeping through the night right away. Baby sleep is not linear. Some babies sleep early, some don’t. And BTW sleep regressions are real. So please stop blaming yourself for something biologically normal. Our little one’s are growing at such a fast pace and their tiny little bodies need more than we ever could imagine. They may need to eat through the night, or they may need cuddles… either way we’re not going to stress ourselves out about it, okay? We give our babies what they need when they need it because we are their sole source of literally everything. Our one job is to raise them happy and healthy and if it means sacrificing a little sleep, then so be it. Do that and do it proudly.

6. You’ll Never Sleep Again

Okay, YES… this is a direct contradiction to the above saying that it’s normal for babies to not sleep through the night. As we know, newborn sleep is unpredictable, but that doesn’t mean restful nights are gone forever. With consistency, support, and developmentally appropriate strategies, some babies can sleep through the night. You don’t have to accept years of exhaustion as your default setting. But I think it’s important to comment on the fact that even though a baby might wake many times throughout the night, it is also normal for some babies to sleep through the night soon after their arrival. Like mentioned before, babies are all different from each other and that includes how well they adjust to overnight sleeping. But, no matter how you slice it, the ultimate message here is to not feel bad if your baby doesn’t sleep all night but also to not feel guilty if they do.

7. You’ll “Bounce Back” After Birth

The Myth: You’ll fit into your pre-pregnancy jeans in 6 weeks if you try hard enough.

I have to be honest, this is one of those motherhood myths I haven’t really heard this specific before. But I think for most women there is this overwhelming feeling of wanting to bounce back after having a baby. Here’s what’s a little unfortunate about this way of thinking: You… yes, you made a whole human being inside your belly like a freaking sci-fi heroine and you’re thinking about a flat stomach when the main thing you should be thinking about is loving on that baby and allowing your body to heal properly. Take the time necessary to rest and bask in your divine feminine! And by the way, you’re body is beautiful and gives and supports life! Like, seriously, how dope is that?!

8. Your Body Will Never Be the Same… Deal With It

Yes I’m contradicting myself again. But only because I feel it’s necessary! Like I mentioned above it’s important to take the time to rest and heal after we give birth to our littles. But just like there shouldn’t be any pressure to bounce back right away, there also shouldn’t be any shame cast on wanting to get back to yourself. “But you just had a baby!” is definitely the reason we might not feel like ourselves but that doesn’t mean you have to be stuck feeling unlike yourself forever. Sure our bodies change, but we can still feel strong, sexy, and at home in our skin. Healing is necessary. Reclaiming your body is doable. And bouncing back doesn’t mean becoming who you were pre-baby. It simply means becoming someone even more powerful.

9. You Shouldn’t Need Help

The Myth: Asking for help = weakness.

So I don’t know if anyone has told you this recently… but we were never meant to do this alone, sis. Historically speaking women have always had a community around them to assist when it came to both the delivery of and raising of children. When people say “it takes a village” they’re not saying it to be cute. They say it because it’s true. Whatever you do, never feel bad for seeking help. Ask for the help. Accept the help. Hire it, trade it, cry for it if you have to. You were never meant to do this alone. And if you aren’t in the lucky position of already having a supportive community around you, then build the village you want and need. The idea that you have to do it all alone is toxic. It’s not weakness to need help.

10. Working Moms Are Neglectful and Stay-at-Home Moms Are Lazy

The Myth: Pick your flavor of shame.

Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) or a working mom, you’re still a great mom. When it comes to motherhood myths, this one can be confusing because it pulls us in both directions. But once you have a baby, to some degree, you end up at least one of those two things whether you like it or not. Neither are wrong. But at the end of the day, you’re basically going to make your decisions based on your family’s needs and circumstances and bottom line is, nobody gets to judge your version of motherhood. Your ambition as a career woman or SAHM doesn’t disappear when you become a parent. You may adjust your pace or priorities, but you don’t have to abandon your dreams.

11. You Should Instantly Bond with Your Baby

The Myth: Love at first sight is automatic.

Let’s be real here! As much as you might expect to get that overwhelming surge of love the second you see your baby that’s just not always the case. And that’s okay! We live in the real world, not a movie. So even though we’d expect that instant bond to happen, it’s actually not the end of the world if it doesn’t. There are so many reasons you may not bond immediately and if it’s something that is truly bothering you then it’s okay to reach out for some help. But really, bonding is sometimes gradual. You’re both getting to know each other. It doesn’t make you broken it just makes you human.

12. Motherhood Comes Naturally To Everyone

The Myth: If doesn’t happen effortlessly then there’s something wrong.

No… nope… not at all true. I mean, yes, motherhood does come naturally to some women but there are some that need more time to get the hang of it. I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with that because it can sometimes take a little bit to figure things out. The adjustment can be jarring if we’re being honest about it. Sure, some might be able to get the rhythm of motherhood down naturally because they have those strong instincts, but motherhood is also about the learning process. No one is born knowing how to breastfeed, swaddle, sleep train, or navigate toddler meltdowns. Give yourself permission to grow into motherhood like anything else. And if it makes you feel any better, know that there are classes, online and in real life, that can help you along the way.

13. You Have to Be a Supermom

The Myth: You should cook organic meals, do sensory play daily, keep the house spotless, and somehow also work out and journal.

We are definitely living in the era of “hustle culture” so it’s understandable that that mentality would carry through to motherhood. The glaring message we receive every day is that we’re never doing enough, and whatever we are doing isn’t as good as it could be. But let’s take a step back and sprinkle some reality on that. When it comes to myths about motherhood, the supermom mythos emphasizes performance but usually ends in burnout. When you think about it, is that kind of mindset sustainable in our day to day? No! And if you’re finding yourself falling into that mom fluencer-stepford-wife doomscroll spiral, then just stop… right now! Be a real mom. Be chaotic yet resilient, and I know it’ll lead you to be stress-free and happy!

14. If You’re Baby Doesn’t Stop Crying, You’re Dropping the Ball

The Myth: If your baby cries, you’re doing something wrong.

Babies cry. It’s how they communicate. Sometimes it means something needs fixing, and sometimes it’s just part of how they release tension or stimulation. You’re not failing because your baby cries. Just the fact alone that you’re concerned about it means you care. And honestly there are some really basic reasons your baby might be crying (hungry, tired, dirty diaper, or gas). But even with all the research we try to do to help our littles, we also have to understand that sometimes babies cry for reasons we can’t see like growth spurts or teething that isn’t visible yet. And because they can’t tell us what’s wrong, all we can do is comfort them. If crying persists and you are worried, then a trip to the pediatrician or ER might be worth it. Either way, I want you to know that you’re doing a great job by doing the best you know how.

15. You Can’t Be the Same Person After Becoming a Mom

The Myth: If you try to stay the same you’re being selfish.

That’s because you’re not the same! How could you be? It’s not a bad thing, it’s the best thing! But the idea that you lose your identity forever is just not true. You get to keep the parts of yourself you love, rediscover what got buried, and evolve into something new and extraordinary. You need to allow yourself the space to grow and take the time to truly love yourself. You have earned every single bit of it!

Before You Go…

For some reason there are so many weird and often antiquated messages that we receive as mothers, but I don’t care what anyone says, we are doing our best… every single day! For our families and now maybe finally for ourselves. So, the next time you feel the pressure to live up to someone else’s version of motherhood, take a deep breath and remember: you are the perfect mom for your child. Full stop!

What motherhood myths messed with your head the most?
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Disclaimer: The content here is for informational and educational purposes only. It does not take the place of medical advice or treatment from a physician. Readers should consult their own doctor or a qualified healthcare professional for specific health concerns and questions