Embracing Motherhood: Do Things Your Way!

Motherhood is absolutely the most amazing gift I could have ever wished for. If you told me I’d be a new mom in my 40s, I wouldn’t have believed you, but my daughter is the best thing to happen to me and now I couldn’t imagine a life without her. And while some people look down on women having babies in later years, I think what it did for me was allow me to really know myself before taking on this responsibility of raising a little girl. I allowed myself the years I needed to become the woman I wanted to be, create the life I wanted to live, and enjoy the adventures I wanted to experience. But hey, I get it. I absolutely see how it would be so easy to forget who you are as a mother. When unsolicited advice is flying in on you at every angle, embracing motherhood ends up being more about doing what everyone is telling you to do and less of just doing you.

I’m here to remind you that when you mother outside the lines, you’re mothering without erasing yourself. This blog post is all about embracing your tattoos, your booming laugh, your weird quirks, and your beautiful flaws because they’re not things you need to necessarily “grow out of.” They are in fact, part of what make you a fantastic mom. This isn’t a rebellion for the sake of it. It’s about showing everyone (and yourself) that motherhood doesn’t require assimilation. You can nurture and still be wild, because the truth is, our kids don’t need perfect moms; they need real ones. And real moms can teach softness without losing strength.

1. The Taming Starts Early

As women in this day and age we have been receiving mixed messages since the day we are born about how we should and shouldn’t act. We should be quieter and louder, take up more space and take up less space, be powerful and be submissive. It’s baffling to say the least. And by the time we become mothers (if we choose), then a whole new set of expectations get thrown at us. Now, it’s time for us to “tone down” our individuality, sexuality, and self-expression and essentially stop being who we’ve been our whole lives and devote every bit of existence to our sweet babies.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a new mom myself, so I understand that so much of your heart, energy, and time goes into raising children. But there is still space in there that you can forge for yourself. You just have to figure out how. I personally don’t hide my tattoos, shadow my interests, quiet my voice, or hide my age. I work very hard to hold onto who I was before baby because I truly believe that we don’t have to shrink to grow into incredible moms.

2. Wild at Heart

Wild can mean a lot of things. But in this case, I believe we, as mothers, should try to hold some wild abandon in our hearts. And, to me, it’s such a beautiful thing we can pass on to our children. We shouldn’t stifle the free spirit within, instead we should embrace it and find peace in it. That wildness can guide you in your parenting also. Raise your kiddos unafraid to speak up and determined to help others any way they can. Teach them that they are allowed to take up space and the world is theirs to explore. Even if just enjoying their own solitude is perfectly acceptable because freedom doesn’t need an audience.

3. Teaching by Example

If you begin to live as your true self and not some Pinterest version of it, then by default you are creating a space in your home that is safe for children to be themselves too. Children who grow up in homes where they’re encouraged to be their own truest selves and tend to thrive in every measurable way. Research shows that homes where curiosity, emotions, and individuality are met with warmth instead of control and where parental warmth and autonomy support are prevalent, there is an increase in kids’ day-to-day well-being in over 90% of families studied; while rejection and control are strongly tied to aggression, low self-esteem, and emotional struggles later in life.

When kids feel accepted and trusted to express who they are, they develop stronger self-regulation, motivation, and resilience. They’re more likely to set intrinsic goals, build healthy relationships, and experience greater life satisfaction as adults. Even for teens and LGBTQ+ youth, having just one accepting adult can make a life-changing difference, cutting suicide risk by roughly 40%.

In short, the science backs what your intuition already knows: when a child feels safe to be their authentic self, they grow into adults who are emotionally grounded, confident, and kind. Allowing freedom and authenticity at home doesn’t mean chaos but instead it gives them the tools to stay steady and become who they’re meant to be. And the best part is . . . it all starts with you and how you’re embracing motherhood in a way that shows them how confidence, individuality, and sometimes quirkiness can make you so happy!

Before You Go . . .

If there’s anything I want you to take from this blog, it’s that you are an incredible woman who deserves the space to be your true self every day. Just because we’re moms, doesn’t mean that’s all we are. We can give our families the love, care, attention, and energy they need while also taking care of ourselves. We are capable of raising amazingly well-rounded children without sacrificing ourselves.

You were someone before motherhood, and you have permission to explore what that someone looks like today. You are a mom, woman, individual and a badass all rolled into one. So go ahead and take up space, lead by example, treat yourself from time to time, and give yourself some much-deserved grace. You are so worth it!