How to Feel Like Yourself Again as a Mom in 9 Easy Steps
At the peak of my life, I had become the woman I’d always wanted to be. The one who always had an adventure planned, and if you asked me, the one who made life look effortless and fun. I spent years… I’m talking decades… curating the perfect life for myself. And a big part of what’s made it so perfect is success in my career and growing my family. Motherhood especially has been such an incredibly beautiful and transformative journey where I’ve gained wisdom, resilience, and a deeper understanding of myself. But if I’m being honest, somewhere between managing responsibilities and juggling life’s demands, my own needs started to seem less important and the things that made me feel so alive were beginning to feel distant. But I refuse to believe that I can’t have it all. Because the fact of the matter is I’m still in here somewhere! And I can reclaim myself starting right now.
Now to clarify, when we prioritize self-care, we’re not just adding more things to our to-do lists. What it’s really about is reconnecting to that innermost independent spirited woman you’ve always been. Or the one you’re still hoping to become! How to feel like yourself again as a mom? For starters, it’s about not feeling guilty or apologetic about finding or being her again, because at the end of the day, prioritizing self-care is necessary. When we take care of ourselves, we then can show up as the best version of ourselves for our family, our friends, and most importantly, ourselves. So, if you’ve been struggling with self-care guilt, here are ways to prioritize your well-being and feel your best every single day.
1. Reframe Self-Care as a Necessity, not a Luxury
I can’t stress this enough… the sooner you learn to take control of your mindset, the sooner you will learn how to take control of your life. And one of the most important mindset shifts you can make is understanding that self-care isn’t indulgent. I would go so far to say it’s actually a requirement for your well-being. They say you can’t pour from an empty cup, and self-care is how to refill your cup.
Quick Tip: If you find taking time for yourself difficult, whether because of time constraints or personal hangups, then try starting with small, intentional acts every day. Like taking ten minutes in the morning for stretching, meditation or journaling. Give yourself 30 days of this… the more you do it, the more comfortable you’ll be with it.
2. Schedule “Me Time” Like an Appointment
When figuring out how to feel like yourself again, it starts when you decide you actually want YOU back again. Ultimately you are also saying that you want to make yourself as important as the other aspects of your life. So, since you schedule doctor visits, school events, and work meetings, you should now start to schedule time for yourself too! Treat your self-care time like an unbreakable appointment. Write it into your calendar, set an alarm. Whatever it takes, do it.
Try This: If I’m unable to work around my home schedule, then I take a little time off during my work schedule. Not everyone has the ability to do so, but if you do it’s a great way to schedule yourself in.
3. Move Your Body in a Way That Feels Good
Getting in consistent activity looks different for everyone. Some would love to be in the gym everyday while others would rather forgo the gym and do some yoga in the backyard. Either way you look at it, movement is important to our lives, however, our lives aren’t always equipped to take on any more than we already do. So, forget unrealistic fitness expectations or the avoidance of them. The goal when wanting to get back to yourself isn’t perfection… it’s just daily movement that gets our blood flowing and brings us joy. Whether it’s yoga, strength training, dancing in your kitchen, or long nature walks, find something that makes you feel alive.
4. Nourish Yourself with Foods You Love
It’s not about finding a fly-by-night diet that won’t work in the long-term. In fact, this is not about dieting at all. To get back to who you are and to begin to feel really good about yourself again, ditch the diet mindset, and focus on nourishment over restriction. There are a lot of good books about just that. So eat those nutrient packed, high vibrational foods that energize you, fuel your body, and make you feel really really good!
Simple Upgrade: Upgrade your meals with nutrient-rich replacements. Replace white rice with cauliflower rice and trade sour cream for fat-free yogurt. Exchanging breakfast for something like a superfood smoothie will help to boost energy and keep you feeling your best.
5. Simplify Your Beauty & Skincare Routine
One reoccurring topic amongst my posts is the idea of implementing a low maintenance beauty and skin care routine. And I keep coming back to it because not only is it important, but because it also has the power to make us feel great even in its simplicity. Finding a solid beauty routine can help you feel put together with minimal effort.
6. Set Boundaries & Say No Without Guilt
If you’re reading this, then it might be safe to say that at some point, you lost a bit of yourself along the way. It’s something that happens before we even realize it. We look up and can’t even recognize ourselves anymore. One way we can get ourselves back is to prioritize what matters and saying NO to the rest. you shouldn’t feel guilty about it either, because if you continue with doing everything for everyone you will burn all the way out. So start today and set those much-needed boundaries. You won’t regret it!
Challenge: This week, say no to one thing that doesn’t serve you. Then, use that extra time for you!
7. Get the Rest You Deserve
Quality sleep and just general rest are non-negotiables. If you’re struggling with either, try creating a bedtime routine that signals your body it’s time to wind down. My post about morning & evening routines will give you some really great suggestions for winding down. You are not just here to give, but to receive, too. Let people help you and let yourself rest.
Mantra: Taking care of myself is the best gift I can give to myself and my family.
8. Cultivate Friendships That Uplift You
For me, friendships get a little more complicated the older I get. Like myself, the friends I already have start to move into their own lives, soaring careers and growing families and as far as making new friends, that is practically impossible. But regardless to the situation you find yourself in, surrounding yourself with people who get you can make life much more fun. Motherhood can feel isolating, but prioritizing meaningful friendships can bring joy, laughter, and much-needed support. It doesn’t always have to be in person either. Try a quick facetime first thing in the morning or on your way home from work.
Connection Idea: Schedule a monthly coffee date, group chat, or even a weekend getaway with your closest friends.
9. Reignite Your Passions & Hobbies
Remember the life you had before you became a parent? That person is still in you and going back and making time for the passions and hobbies you had before will do wonders for reconnecting with yourself. You must understand that you are more than just a mom… you are a whole person with dreams, passions, and interests. As a mom myself, I do understand that everything can’t go back to the way it was before… but that’s okay! Think about how you can reinvent your hobbies and make them fit who you are now. If you painted before, switch to smaller canvases or digital art you can finish in a weekend instead of a month-long piece. If you’re a reader, swap 500-page novels for poetry books, short stories, or essays so you still get that literary hit without losing momentum. Whether it’s painting, gardening, writing, or learning something new, reconnect with what lights you up! You won’t regret it!
Need Inspiration? Sign up for an online course at Skillshare to jumpstart your passion.
Before You Go…
Prioritizing self-care as a mom isn’t about extravagant spa days (though those are nice too!). It’s about showing up for yourself daily in small, intentional ways… without guilt, without apology.
The more you fill your own cup, the more you have to pour into the people you love. So, what’s one self-care ritual you’re committing to this week? Let’s talk about it in the Reply Box below!
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